We came across what we believe to be a solid Blended Family article done by LINDA CARROLL, who does research and writes for MSNBC.
The story offers knowledge...and with knowledge comes understand and hopefully brings wisdom. You can take this as encouragement because you can keep hope flowing as you understand that your blended family is not alone. There are over 23 million households in America facing similar challenges. (see ABFA) Linda Carroll's article notes that in most new step-family situations teens struggle most with new step-parents. In particular her research finds teenage boys seem to have the most issues with 'step-fathers'.
We hear this often as we coach and work with blended families. We also saw it at times in our own family. Being a teenager is hard enough in any situation, given the maturing process, newfound freedoms and responsibilities, peer pressure, hormones and relationships. If internal 'whom do I choose as best' loyalty issues arise, or if disrespect is shown and modeled from the other homes bio-parent(s) toward your step-parenting role ... troubled waters will prevail. Parents are to be the leaders and the model that children observe and emulate. Be a positive influence. It will take a patient, positive parent who trusts God to shine brighest and bring long-term benefit to the child. If the struggle is one that maybe a 'peace summit' meeting between child and parents will help, do so. Remember foremost that Husband and Wife must stand strong together...no house divided. Take disagreements into a private room. If the negative influences are external, we encourage all blended family parents to pray and rise above personal feelings, hurts, frustrations, and upset with the 'other house' and make sure you coach and emulate 'respect and honor' in both families home.
IF YOU ARE A TEEN and reading this...we ask you too...to walk the extra mile and try to start each day new. We came across an interesting site for Children of Divorce.
www.generationcd.blogspot.com
They have surveys there. Children are not alone either.
Here is a link to the article we mentioned that we want to credit as fine work:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23071319/
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